The concept of having and making friends has been important since we've been old enough to share the cookies in our lunchboxes. As we've gotten older, and moved away from our hometowns and families, friends play an even more critical role. FRIENDS = FAMILY. They're our support system, babysitters, financial advisers, and so much more! But at this point, we've all had the reckoning that it's about quality and not quantity.
While it's never easy to lose someone you call your
girl, maintaining a toxic friendship only leads to more harm than good.
If you can answer "yes" to any of the questions below, you may be engaging in a toxic friendship.
TOXIC FRIEND QUIZ - PART I
1. Dramatic Betty
Q: Is she the same friend that always threatens to take her earrings off at the club to fight even though she's only 120lbs, while simultaneously trying to find a reason that you need to break up with your man? (y/n)__
2. All-Important BettyQ: Is she always "too busy", and the only time you see her is on her schedule even though you know she has a standing facial and shiatsu massage every week that she never misses? (y/n)__
3. Needy BettyQ: Does she only call you when her car breaks down, she needs the spare keys you're holding or when she can't remember someone's phone number? Can you remember the last time ya'll just talked without you providing a service? Hmmm...(y/n)__
4. Debbie Downer BettyQ: Is she always too hot, too cold, so broke, unbelievably tired, and fed up all at the same time? More importantly, does she always have something negative to say when you share good news? (y/n)__
5. In Da Club BettyQ: When was the last time you saw her in the daylight? (Day/time)__
(Please note - this friend can serve a purpose. Just keep it in context.)
6. Back-to-me BettyQ: If you're talking to her about a promotion you're up for, do you find yourself talking about her split ends (substitute: dying plants, new rash, or any other asinine topic) before you've completed your thought?(y/n)__
7. Insecure BettyQ: Does she make excuses not to tell you where she bought her shoes, introduce you to her new man, or how to find that cheap flight to
St. Maarten, out of fear that you're going to take her spot?(y/n)__
8. Man-problems BettyQ: Do her ups and downs with her man affect how good of a friend she is to you like someone with a gambling problem? When they're up, they are WAY up, but when they're down, it's bad news?(y/n)__
If you answered "yes" to 3 or more questions on the Toxic Friends quiz, take a step back and give your relationship careful observation for 2 weeks. If you had the same friend in mind and answered "yes" to all 8 questions - tell her to kick rocks!