"He" might be checking who's been naughty or nice with the holidays quickly approaching...if you haven't gotten your hand caught in the cookie jar lately, do a quick check to see if you've followed these "grown woman" rules. Thanks to dedicated B-Lifer, Dana, for supplying these helpful tips. She has her ish together, so we should definitely take notes!
10 THINGS YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU:
A YOUNG BLACK WOMAN’S GUIDE TO SURVIVAL
Written by: Dana Orr, Esq.
Pictured(L-R): Dana, Emily. Two of the best who've done it!
Pictured(L-R): Dana, Emily. Two of the best who've done it!10. BE SELECTIVE IN FRIENDSHIPS.
Friendship is not charity, it’s a give-and-take relationship. Your friends should be people you love, admire and respect. Don’t be afraid to expand, or change your circle of friends. As you get older, you may head in a different direction than those you once considered your “best friends forever”. As you evolve and mature, you may grow apart from friends who no longer fulfill you - it’s ok! Hold this person in your heart, but be true to yourself when devoting time, energy and emotion to anyone you seriously consider a “friend”.
9. RE-INVENT YOURSELF WHEN NECESSARY.
Self-reinvention is a way to constantly reflect and assess your goals and priorities in your personal, academic and professional life. The concept of self-reinvention allows you to reconsider your lifestyle and, at any given moment, change a particular course of action. The beauty of this process is that you don’t have to beat yourself up about behavior you consider undesirable. You should actually feel great that you have enough sense to realize the error of your ways (whatever they may be), and can spontaneously commit to change. Congratulations - you just solved a problem!
8. PROTECT YOURSELF.
HIV/AIDS is the #1 killer of black women ages 19-27 in America. You are not corny or lame if you insist on an HIV test before having sex with someone. In fact, you’re stupid to give up responsibility for your health and put your life in someone else’s hands. Please DO NOT FALL FOR the age-old trick: “Look at me - what am I supposed to do now?!” All men masturbate. Politely tell your partner that he should focus on “self- love” until you’re certain that he deserves to enter your temple.
7. JEALOUSY IS A WASTED EMOTION.
People who love themselves and recognize their worth are unable to be jealous of others. Why? You should be so preoccupied with loving yourself and changing what you don’t like, you have no time to worry about what others are doing. Being jealous of someone is a waste of energy. You cannot control other people and the choices they make, or the luck they have. Weak people let other’s circumstances affect their self-love and/or self-worth. Resist the temptation to be envious, as it will get you nowhere. If anything, let other people motivate you to achieve certain goals for yourself.
6. CARRY YOURSELF LIKE A LADY.
Embrace that which makes you a woman, and by all means, take advantage of the privileges that we have. Force men around you to treat you with the respect they would their mother, aunt or sister. Insist that your doors be opened for you, order your food first in a restaurant, and sit in the front seat if you are the only female in the car. There is nothing wrong with being “pleasantly demanding”. Along with the privilege of womanhood comes a certain responsibility. Being a true “lady” means you exhibit manners that would make your grandmother proud, your clothes are tasteful and appropriate for your age, and your hair and nails are always clean. These little things make a big difference in how you are viewed by outsiders, and the quality of men that you attract.
5. KEEP UP WITH CURRENT EVENTS.
Staying in touch with what’s going on in the world is very important. Not only is it important to be aware of national and global issues, it makes you a lot more interesting to others because you always have something to talk about. It doesn’t take much to watch the news, read the newspaper online, or buy an issue of TIME magazine or Newsweek. Don’t forget - parents and teachers are a great source of information on current events, and would love to have a conversation with you about something “serious”.
Thanks Dana - love it! Part II coming soon!
3 comments:
Well that has got to be the best advice I've read in a long time. Are we going to be hearing more from Dana?
I don't know if I agree with number 6. If I have to "Force" men around me to treat me with respect there's something wrong with the men. Respect to a woman is due just as respect to a man is due. It should not be forced out of a man and it is not a woman's job to do so.
A REAL WOMAN OPENS HER OWN DOORS AND MAKES HER OWN MONEY! Why don't Black women try opening doors for Black men? I am a Black woman and my son will not open any doors for any women.
I will make sure of that! Lazy wanna be Slavemaster Heifers.
He'll open your doors when you give up your hairweaves, and we all know " a Black woman loving her own hair and her skin color is not possible, now is it? "
bunch sorry ass women, that's what Black women are.
don't believe it? Just look at how many of her sons are in prison . in fact the only reason she'll have a son is so that he'll grow up and kill your Black son.
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